UAP Citizens Committee Formed

A Dark Corner Vignette - Always Fictional, Somewhat Factual

Dark Corner, SC - Odell “Big Mouth” Trout, state senator and leader of the Dark Corner legislative delegation, announced the creation of a citizens committee to investigate the recent sighting of an unidentified anomalous phenomena (UAP) disappearing into the mists over Hogback Mountain.

The committee consists of Lester Tewksberry, pastor of First Two Square Five Points Calvinist Church along with Hoot Wooten, elder at First Two Square Five Points Calvinist Church, Angie Riddle, deaconess at Broadway Community Church, Junior Riddle, deacon at Narrow Culvert Anti-Community Church, and Theo Dillicious, professor of blue lights and other phenomena at the Ebeneezer School of Bozarts and Pseudosciences.

Sen. Trout will chair the committee ex offico and because he created it ex nihilo. An ex dominos employee will serve as the committee caterer. When asked why the committee was weighted with Calvinists, Sen. Trout replied “God’s will was done. Besides, so what if we got two members from the same church family. We also got one family from two churches. We are being exclusively inclusive. Plus that little science feller will keep us straight. I think that everything will be FINE, FINE.”

Several local residents reported seeing the UAP. One group made up of Archie Higginbotham, his nephew Les, and his cousin Calvin were up at their Mema’s place at the base of Hogback Mountain letting their beagles run when they saw the UAP. “It was a dang ginormous six-pack of 55 gallon drums just a-hooverin’ over the trees” declared Archie. He further stated, “At first Archie thought that Archie was having a close encounter of the third-person kind but then Archie thought to myself, Self, that looked like them mash fermentors from my brother Ray’s likker still hidden behind Mema’s wash house. Oops, Archie may have said too much.”

Messrs. Higginbotham and other witnesses will be given the opportunity to share their close encounters with UAP, UPS, USPS, FED-EX, DHL or any other cosmic delivery phenomena with the committee.

The first meeting of the UAP Citizens Committee will be held shortly.

All characters are fictional but the article contains at least one fact. Guaranteed.